In the early to mid 1990s, Doc Martens were the nirvana of cool. And I, like many, fell under the spell of the chunky-soled boots with the distinctive yellow stitching. I begged my parents to buy me a pair of Doc Martens – or as my mother called them, “those ugly doctor shoes.” But they refused, wondering why I would want to appear as if I was moonlighting as a construction worker. Eventually, I forgave my parents for depriving me of Doc Martens – once I realized how truly ridiculous I would have looked tromping around in them. Then ironically, in the late 90s, my mom bought me a pair of Doc Marten sandals she found on sale at Daffy’s. So I did eventually become cool – just, like, four years too late.
It’s 2008 now, and I’ve got heart palpitations over another doctor. While rooting around on my mom’s vanity a few weeks ago, I discovered an unopened jar of Dr. Brandt’s Microdermabrasion For Face. When I asked where and when she bought it, she couldn’t remember. Who does that? Who randomly buys beauty products then forgets about them? Unbelievable. I mean, sometimes I wonder how this woman and I can possibly be related. Anyway, so I asked politely to sample and she obliged. What happened next was a thing of myth.
I asked to take it off her hands…but after seeing the results, there was no way she was letting me leave her house with Dr. Brandt in tow.
Can you believe it? The woman who is the main beneficiary of my beauty beneficence doesn’t want to share. But she did give me life, and a pair of Doc Marten sandals (albeit four years late), so I guess I’ll just have to go out and get my own.