The other day on my lunch break, I stopped by my neighborhood Victoria’s Secret store to try on the new Miraculous Push-Up Bra. You know…the one that adds two cup sizes. Yeah, that one. In the dressing room, I put on the bra and it instantly transformed my small B’s into generous D’s…truly miraculous. But the true test was when I slipped my sweater back on, over top of the Miraculous Bra. That’s when my eyes bugged out of my head. The reflection in the full-length mirror was a surprising optical illusion. It was as if I was looking at Jessica Rabbit’s body with my head perched on top. Once you take the bra for a test drive, you’ll understand why the tagline for this bra is “Hello, Bombshell”…it’s cuz it looks like you’re smuggling weapons of mass destruction under your top.
If ever there was a bra that delivered on its promises, it’s this one. But there are some major caveats. Though the Miraculous Push-Up is available in sizes AA through DD, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone with more than a B cup. While I was blown away by the bra, I would have felt totally inappropriate wearing it anytime other than Friday or Saturday nights; this is definitely not one to don under your work wear, unless you work at Hooters.
I’m small on top with wide hips and a lil junk in the trunk, so I had hoped that the Miraculous Push-Up would help balance me out. What it ended up doing is making me appreciate what God gave me (or rather, didn’t give me). So instead of paying $48-52 for a bra I would only wear on rare occasions, I’ve decided to just shake what Mama Spoiled Pretty gave me.
Update: After telling Mr. Spoiled Pretty about this post and my experience with the Miraculous Push-Up, he suggested I return to the store and buy it.