Snake Massage? Sssssay What?!?

snake+massage Snake Massage? Sssssay What?!?The other day, Mr. Spoiled Pretty was perusing msn.com when he happened upon an article entitled “Bizarre Ways to Beat Stress and Unwind: 10 lesser-known methods for dealing with a high-stress life.” First up on the list: snake massage. Um, say what?!?!? I can’t think of anything more stress inducing than having serpents slither all over me. I’d probably die of cardiac arrest before the whole thing was through.

But oddly enough, people actually pay for this kind of ‘therapy.’ 

Strange: Some people like the feel of non-poisonous reptiles slithering across their bodies in spa-like settings, with larger, heavier snakes providing a deeper kneading as they crawl across flesh. But how effective are these creatures at reducing stress? Even snakes’ general pressure on the body can be relaxing, says Kriota Willberg, a licensed massage therapist and an instructor at Swedish Institute, in New York. But what’s missing is a snake’s ability to systematically and selectively apply pressure, and to respond to the body’s feedback.

But True: When a patient is stressed out, the neck, shoulders, lower back and lower extremities are often especially tense, says Willberg. Within these areas of tension, multiple layers of muscles are often involved. By incorporating different muscle-relaxing techniques, such as tempo, expertise at palpating, and varying the pressure—skills that are not part of a snake’s repertoire—massage therapists customize their work to patients’ needs. The result is a modality that’s both stress-reducing and therapeutic.

I don’t care what anyone says – snake massage sounds like something they’d do to the contestants on Fear Factor, right before making them eat crocodile eyeballs. And paying for this wackadoo service? You gotsssssssssssssss to be a resident of crazytown to reach into your wallet for some nonsense like this. Someone would have to pay me a helluva lot more than $70 for six snakes to have a playdate on my semi-clothed body.

Visit msn.com for more bizarre stress relievers, including jaw massage, beer baths and ironing.

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