The 80th annual Academy Awards are a thing of the past, and by now you probaby know that the big five went to Javier Bardem (Best Supporting Actor, No Country For Old Men), Tilda Swinton (Best Supporting Actress, Michael Clayton), Marion Cotillard (Best Actress, La Vie En Rose), Daniel Day Lewis (Best Actor, There Will Be Blood), and No Country For Old Men (Best Film). I’m no expert, but this could be the first time in 80 years that no American took home a statuette for an acting performance. Right? Anyway…

But what about the red carpet? Read on to hear my take on the night’s big winners and losers (click on the photo to enlarge the image).

Best Dressed, Tressed, with Makeup to Impress

The ladies in red reigned supreme on the red carpet. Heidi Klum looked regal in this custom-made Galliano gown. And I’m absolutely obsessed with her hair! The exaggerated bun is like a crown. Flawless.

If anyone was still questioning Lancome‘s choice for their new spokesperson, Anne Hathaway surely quieted those naysayers tonight. Anne was a grecian goddess, from all angles, in this draped dress by Marchesa. She has the prettiest ponytail I’ve ever seen…it was simple, classic, and glamorous – all at the same time. And her makeup, from the bold brow to the subtle lip stain, is pitch perfect.

The Runners Up

Jennifer Garner was one hot momma in Oscar de la Renta. The dress, as you can see, is anything but basic black. And I’m loving the un-fussified updo, winged eyeliner, and pale lip. No wonder Gary Busey attacked her on the red carpet. This is the best she’s ever looked.

Mommy-to-be Jessica Alba makes third trimesters look terrific, with a little help from Marchesa. Notice the braids in her hair? You’re going to see them everywhere this Spring.

Miley Cyrus looked like an old pro, pouting and posing in her Valentino frock.

I don’t really know who Kristen Chenoweth is (I looked her up on imdb.com, and turns out she stars on Pushing Daisies) – but she looked stunning in Armani Prive. I really love her understated makeup; her natural beauty shines through. Bravo.

Hillary Swank never disappoints. It’s like she has the magic formula (or a genius stylist). Her body was made for Versace.

Katherine Heigl is another actress I always look forward to seeing on the red carpet. She looks fierce in this red Escada gown, but you can tell that she’s genuinely enjoying herself and she’s comfy in her own skin. And what’s more beautiful than that?

For a while, I couldn’t decide whether or not I liked Penelope’s Oscar 2008 look. Blasphemy, you may say. Don’t worry…as soon as I saw Miss Cruz take the stage as a presenter, I was convinced that this Chanel gown was a work of art. It moved like water. And the feathers? Inspired! As usual, her hair and makeup were perfection.

Photos don’t do Helen Mirren’s dress justice. You probably can’t tell from these pics, but the sleeves of her Georges Chakra gown were made of Swarovski crystals. When she presented the Best Actor Award, she dazzled. It was quite beautiful. And much like last year, Helen gives those young starlets a run for their money.

Meh

Cameron Diaz looks like she overslept, threw on her dress, and did her hair and makeup in the limo – without a mirror. Her Dior gown is ill-fitting, wrinkled, and the color washes her out. Yes, she’s a natural beauty. But for the Academy Awards, even former models like Diaz need some cosmetic help. Cammie, what happened? When did you stop caring? I expected so much more.

Marion Cotillard was a winner last night, but I’m not convinced that her Jean Paul Gaultier dress deserves top honors; it reminds me of fish scales. And I’m no makeup artist or hairstylist, but I’m confident that I could re-create her look with drugstore cosmetics and some hot rollers. Bottom line, the look was comme-ci, comme ça.

Normally, Keri Russell is a bohemian beauty – which is why I was surpised to see her in this Nina Ricci gown. It’s a very pretty design, but it almost seems like she was playing dress up in someone else’s closet. I expected something more edgy from her. The color is also quite bland. Perhaps I might be more wowed if she chose the gown in a less safe shade. I’m also feeling a bit blah about the hair and makeup.

Amy Adams. Hmmmm. Where do I start? Well, wasn’t thrilled about her Proenza Schouler dress. The silhouette is nice, but the color didn’t wow me. Her hair and makeup were alright, but at the risk of sounding snarky, I was distracted by the bags under her eyes. I kept thinking, “Why didn’t her makeup artist do something to correct that?” I really wanted to reach through the TV screen and hand her some Kate Somerville Line Release Under Eye Repair. Poor thing.

Sorry – but I still can’t get down with Renée Zellweger’s short hairdo. It’s looking a little better now that it’s grown out a bit. Luckily her breathtaking Carolina Herrera gown distracts us from her hairdon’t.

I like Jennifer Hudson’s bangs and makeup (her skin looks especially luminous). But her Robert Cavalli dress looks like it needs to be let out a little. But a marked improvement from last year. She’s getting there.

What Was She Thinking?

What the hell is wrong with Tilda Swinton? She looked like an alien at the SAG Awards, but I didn’t write anything because I figured she was having an off night. Last night, she seared my eyes yet again with this black Lanvin monstrosity and no makeup. Now that she’s won her perfomance in Michael Clayton, this ridiculous look will be immortalized (she looked better in the movie, by the way, than she did at the awards ceremony). Is she thumbing her nose at awards shows? Or is she really so kooky that she thinks this “look” looks good?

Worst Hair

John Travolta. The photo speaks for itself.

Though Tyra Banks retired from modeling in 2005, she is Entertainment Weekly’s newest cover girl. In the accompanying article, the “mogul in the making” talks about America’s Next Top Model, her daytime talk show, and her growing multi-media empire.

In 2003, when Tyra and ANTM executive producer Ken Mok were throwing around the idea of a reality modeling competition, the industry didn’t take her seriously. The show finally found a home on UPN, but Tyra wasn’t confident that it would catch on.

”I thought it was going to last for two seasons,” says Tyra. ”Around season 5, I said, ‘Ken, how far can we go — 8?’ He goes, ‘I’m thinking 10.’ Now we’re at 10 and not stopping.”

Cycle 10 of ANTM debuted last night and it managed to suck me in already. It’s the same show that we know and love, with a few minor twists. First, the show was moved back to New York City, New York, after being filmed in Los Angeles since Cycle 4. The number of contestants was also increased to 14, after Tyra deemed 13 to be “an unlucky number.” Finally, Twiggy has been replaced by Czech supermodel Paulina Porizkova…which is interesting, given the fact that one of the contestants is Porizkova’s doppelganger; I wonder if this will hurt or help her chances.

One hour really isn’t enough time to get to know this new group of wannabe’s – but I’ve got my eye on a few.

Fatima is an Iman look alike, with a painful past. Claire is a new mom who’s got that high-fashion, ugly/beautiful thing going on. Like Jaslene (winner of season 8), Dominique is striking – in a drag queen-ish kinda way. And Ivy League educated Katarzyna looks poised to take the cycle 10 title.

Did you watch last night’s eppy? Who do you think the front-runners will be?

I didn’t want to comment on this…but as the day wore on, Lindsay Lohan’s pictoral in New York Magazine irked me so much that I felt compelled to post.

I can’t say that I’m surprised that LiLo got nekkid. I mean, it was inevitable that we were going to see her boobies sometime soon. But what baffles me is why legendary photographer Bert Stern chose Lohan to recreate the shots that Marilyn Monroe made famous. Makes you wonder who turned him down before Lindsay jumped at the bit.

The iconic photos of Marilyn are artistic and haunting. She was sex and beauty combined, then personified – with a touch of sadness. Lindsay’s attempt to channel Monroe’s effortless sensuality is just sad. It comes off as a cheap imitation – cubic zirconias, if you will, to Marilyn’s diamonds.