Urban Decay’s new Pocket Rocket Lip Gloss combines a girl’s two favorite things: guys and gloss. Whether you swoon for a future senator or a tree hugger, one of the many men in this collection is sure to please you. And you might even recognize a few from The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency.*
With the tilt of the tube, your well-dressed man strips down to his undies. Front and rear photos are included for your viewing pleasure, and the flat tube slides right into your pocket.
And, this lip gloss formula is so slick and cushiony you would love it even if it were packaged in a plain ol’ squeezy tube. Each highly pigmented shade varies in opacity and finish, and the crème brûlée flavor will satiate your sweet tooth. The formula contains Hyaluronic Spheres known to improve cellular function, prevent dehydration, and fill in lines and wrinkles. The brush applicator is ideal for blending and if you give the tube a rub, pheromones are released into the air to enhance mood and sexual attraction.
Meet the mens…
David (milky mauve): David is a hard-working man: at work, in the gym, and most importantly, in bed. After a grueling 60-hour week, he still has the energy to come over and put his 110% into you. Undress him to inspect your benefits package.
Doug (medium pink with iridescent sparkle): Who doesn’t love this guy?! Doug is cool. He has a closet full of clothes, a hard drive full of music, and loves making out on the street. Undress him to see why he’s always smiling.
Eric (sheer true red): American born, but schooled abroad, Eric retains many European sensibilities, including Italian bravado, French table manners, and German soccer skills. Undress him for a little Spanish fly.
James (hot pink with ultraviolet glow): How cute is James?! You have the same favorite color (pink), the same hair (black), and the same size jeans (tight). And yet, he’s still all man. Undress him to see if he’s emo down below, too.
Jesse (blackberry with warm sparkle): Jesse owns a dingy cave of a bar on the Sunset Strip, pouring whiskey and cheap beer for rock royalty. Undress him to see where his tattoos end and your one-night stand begins.
Julio (white with iridescent sparkle): Is there anything hotter than a hot guy holding a baby? Julio is an amateur chef, a hot dad, and sweet as pie. Undress him and start fantasizing about the babies you’ll make together.
Kirk (sheer nude): When he isn’t out running the trails with his two chocolate labs, enviro-activist Kirk is finishing his master’s in sustainable architecture. Undress him when you two feel like getting eco-friendly.
Timothy (coral with pink glow): An all-American and future Senator, Timothy is your mother’s dream come true. Skilled at fencing, rugby and sailing, he is valiant and fun. Undress him and he’ll make you the next Jackie O-oh-ohhhhhhh!
*I’m pretty sure that “David” and “Timothy” are actually Dominic and Paul from my Oxygen guilty pleasure.